It's been quite the month, and very much a testimony to how God restores, how holding onto him will not only get you through the difficult times, that if you maintain your stance by continuing to keep your hope and trust in him, he will very much not only restore what has been lost, he will bless you beyond measure.
I spent the year prior to this, an end culmination of a very, very difficult time in my life, probably the most I've ever encountered and have been put through so many trials, so many hardships, to the point, unsure where I'll have another meal, where I will sleep, how I'd face an endless barrage of people who's only interest is justifying their horrendous behavior at my expense. It's enough to face these hardships while I wake, but they extended even to my dreams, and in the end, I was asked, why do still keep your faith, and my response being, where else could I go, who else can I turn to, if not to the Lord. Everything taken away from me, yet the thing the world could not was my faith, the world could not take that away because it never gave it to me in the first place.
At the end of these trials and hardships, I saw God working in my life clearly, I also finished finally letting go of all things material. I let go of all of my relatives in the process, clearly they had a chance to intervene, but chose not to, and it was knowing, my true family is not through blood relations, it's through the true followers of Christ, and even though my family is small still, in so far as the people I keep in contact with, I have millions of relatives world wide, and this is where I move forward upon this matter, to reuinite with my brethren.
I reached the end of the gambit, sold off, gave away, or threw away everything I could not fit into my little car, and headed down to California. The premise being on one account, the dream of having a family, a Godly wife, a new means to make a living, and continue the street ministry, how things have been coming together now, in this new life, this new warm area, this new reality, the past two weeks has merely been a settling in time, a time of rest, a time of restoration, and a time of greater healing.
We are engaged for marriage now, and in the Lords eyes, we are already married, the ceremony will place who we are into a formal setting, and we very much love each other, she's been wonderful to me and I to her, and both of us, desiring the same, find it in each other. The business I struggled with so long, and it coming into the state of obscurity, no longer being sufficient to support myself, is being transformed into having a brick and mortar foundation as a cafe in the best building, best location possible in this town. The latter also extends into the street ministry, of which now has a headquarters, I also now have a prayer warrior and helper with me in the process.
Gone are the days struggling with basic sustenance and living in the cold, barely out of the elements, with being at the mercy of people who clearly have no sense of compassion or empathy, and as the Lord has restored me, he's shown me a new path and direction he wants me to go, yet never forgetting my past, always knowing I'm merely a servant, and the success that is coming is only from the Lord.
This new place and new life also comes with new resolve, and it's picking up the pieces the local community has dropped, picking up the pieces "all" of the churches have failed at miserably, and the shepherds that were supposed to be doing the Lords works are being relieved of duty. They failed miserably in my case, and I made it quite clear I desired help of any kind, but was treated so coldly by my fellow man, men of the cloth, people that were entirely self interested, completely lost their way, and the ball has been finally put into my court.
As I observe things unfolding, I am starting to see how others of the faith, my true family, have so desired to have a place conducive to their own plans, to help others in need, and through myself and my new Love, we are making that happen, with the Lords help and guidance of course. At the same time, I am not at all being passive about the churches I visit, I am not being quiet when I see things going horribly wrong within these, and I no longer will remain quiet about the luke warm nature of these places. I have came too far to simply accept what is in place today, as being acceptable, so I hold onto God tighter, needing his strength, his guidance, his direction more now then ever, since now, it's no longer just myself, no longer just a cause to survive, there are far more people that will be affected by my actions, and I'm being put into a place of greater accountability.
All in all, it's holding onto him that kept me moving forward, and the times have been tough, but always keeping in mind, there honestly is no other place to go, that to let go of him, I let go of my very life. One may not know how long the trials are, but always understand, they are long enough for you to get it, some people never get it, some simply complain, not asking, what they have to learn, where they have to grow, so they continue. I see so many people, still stuck, still in their old ways, still refusing to move forward, refusing to learn, refusing to draw closer to our Lord, and the only thing they do is complain about their situation. What they are doing is holding onto everything "but" God, and instead of him abandoning them to their own devices, out of his mercy, he continues to point them in the right direction.
So, if you find yourself in trials and sufferings, rest assured, you are supposed to grow from them, embrace what you are dealing with, stand out side of it, and test yourself, what is it that is preventing you from learning from these times, and test yourself as to what is keeping you separated from the path and direction God want's you to go, what is stopping you from holding onto him, bottom line, and anything that is, get rid of, place at the alter for sacrifice, and the sooner you do, the sooner you will be through your struggles.
